My Inner Child Gave Me The Strength to Find My Calling

Once struggling with heartbreak, housing instability, and self-doubt, Elizabeth found healing through St. Joseph Center’s CodeTalk, Ánimo, and Fortifi programs. Now she stands on the other side—as a case manager helping families find stability and hope.

For those of us who’re blessed to have an innocent-enough childhood, this time shows us the essence of who we are. Eventually life has a habit of beating the hope out of us and we’re lucky to hang onto a rosy picture of the world for as long as we do. I can remember being carefree like this once with perfect self-esteem. Back when I would visit the mountains and woods of my ancestors as a kid—south of the border. Over there we work to live—not to hustle, not like here. This was what true freedom felt like.

Sadly, for a long time I forgot who that little girl was, as I’d become a slave to my own feelings of inadequacy. Later, St. Joseph Center did more than just give me a job opportunity. Through their empowerment programs, they helped me get back to that sense of myself as a brave and happy youth exploring the world, after years of emotional pain and financial struggle.

Early Marriage and Hardship

For the purposes of my story, I’ll start by telling you about my marriage. I married my husband when I was 19. We had only known each other for a couple of months beforehand. I knew I wasn’t in love then but those close to me told me I had to stick by my man—no matter what. That was how it was. So I made excuses for his bad behavior.

On the surface, other areas of my life seemed to work. I had just finished Job Corps and was getting good jobs back then but I was broken inside. This showed me that someone could have everything, but if their mental health or self-esteem isn’t right, your future just looks black. You could’ve given me a million dollars then and I wouldn’t want it. I wouldn’t have felt like I deserved it.

Discovering CodeTalk

After my husband broke my nose, I finally decided to take my three kids and leave. I was directionless and experiencing homelessness. Eventually, I secured subsidized housing and that’s when a neighbor first told me about St. Joseph Center’s CodeTalk program. The program teaches disadvantaged women how to code and also how to find jobs in the field.

I didn’t seem like the type, but I already knew I liked computers. I used to work at an auto body shop, and my boss made me run his website and handle the search engine optimization. So the class was a good fit. Coding felt like learning another language and it made me feel like my brain was doing exercise. The time would just fly by.

Loss and Resilience

I was excited for what was to come but a week before the end of the program my mother passed away. She’d been sick for a while, living on dialysis, but that alone couldn’t prepare me. I blamed God before realizing that he knew what was best. My anger came from my own guilt and selfish need for my mother to be there for me.

As I started to get a grip again, I managed to land a job at the Jewish Workforce Foundation where my CodeTalk skills helped me maintain their website. Things started moving in a positive direction but then another shock. My 15-year-old daughter was pregnant—one of my biggest fears, as I didn’t want her to follow the path of so many other women in my family. I was planning her Quinceañera.

Deeply depressed, I quit my job to take care of her and found myself in one dysfunctional relationship after another. I realized I kept picking men who needed fixing, just like broken code. No wonder I liked CodeTalk so much.

Healing the Inner Child

By now, I knew I needed professional counseling but found myself on a waitlist. Fortunately, I got a tip-off that once again pointed me to St. Joseph Center, this time to Animo. It’s a holistic mental health program geared toward helping our Hispanic community on the Westside of LA. The title roughly translates to “spirit.”

One session I want to highlight is called “Healing your inner child,” which seeks to teach you how to treat your past with compassion. Previously, when I’d think of younger me, I’d have the urge to slap myself for all my poor decisions. Now, I had the power to reframe things, realizing how brave I was to go sleep out in the mountains of Mexico at night—how to walk on my own as a youth with no fear.

Fortifi and New Opportunities

Now, I had the courage to continue my growth and seek out even more St. Joseph Center programs. Next came Fortifi, an IT-focused course that continued to help me build on my ever-growing computer skills. The program offers exposure to all things technology. At the end of the class, I received $1,000 and a laptop.

Finally, Fortifi brought me to a St. Joseph Center job fair where, shockingly, I somehow got hired to be a case manager for the Family Self-Sufficiency (FSS) program. I was surprised but, based on all my previous experiences where I sought help and got resources, it’s not really that surprising.

Grace and Gratitude

The thing about St. Joseph Center is that they gave me grace. During my struggles, they welcomed me back over the years, helping me find myself. For that, I’m grateful and can never fully repay them.